Did you know? You’re a perfectionist.

What do you think of when you think of a “perfectionist?” For me, the term conjures a very specific image: Miranda Cosgrove’s character Summer in School of Rock (I don’t make the rules, my brain does). In my head, a perfectionist is the type of person who grew up waving their hand at teachers so they’d get called on and starting academic papers over a week before they were due. They’re the type of adults who not only understand the “Reminders” app, but actively use it. They’ve never raced against a deadline, they never lose anything, and their homes are living, breathing monuments to Marie Kondo. In other words: couldn’t be me! Or so I thought.

I’m a big fan of a British podcast called Saturn Returns (in fact, I read and reviewed host Caggie Dunlop’s book a couple of months ago). I was listening to one of Caggie’s solo episodes recently, where she mentioned that she had recently read a book called “The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power” by Katherine Morgan Schafler, which surprised me. One of the reasons I related to Caggie was because of the way she had achieved so much despite self-identifying as “chaotic” in the sense that she’s constantly swirling with big ideas that she may or may not find the time and resources to execute. I’m not chaotic in my everyday life, but the “creative pursuits” part of my brain is exactly that. And despite being fairly organized, I’ve never been a “Type A,” personality-wise. I’m simply not anal (can we please develop a better synonym?)

Caggie went on to elaborate that she herself had never identified as a perfectionist, but that Schafler, a New York based psychotherapist, asserts that “classic perfectionist” (the type I described above) is only one presentation of the personality type. Caggie herself is a “messy perfectionist,” one of the five types Schafler lays out. I was immediately intrigued - I ordered the book immediately. Mr. Bezos delivered it to my door a day later.

Within the first few pages of the book, there’s a quiz wherein you uncover your perfectionist personality type. And, while, as expected, I am not a “classic perfectionist,” I did index very high for one specific type. If you’re intrigued, here’s a breakdown of all of Schafler’s types:

Classic perfectionists: This type needs little introduction, because it’s exactly what you think of when you think of the word “perfectionist.” They’re the type of people who do what they say they’ll do, when they do it. The downside of a classic perfectionist is that, because they always want to be perceived as doing things correctly and conscientiously, they’re not relatable - and can be perceived by others as haughty and distant.

Messy perfectionists: Messy perfectionists have a lot of ideas, and are in love with the process of starting projects, but they struggle with getting bored with the hard work in the middle. They want the tedium that comes with a long-term goal to be as exciting as the goal-setting itself. The downside of this type is that they can get easily bored and struggle with abandoning things before they’re complete. Anyone who goes through “phases” of being obsessed with things that quickly fade (c’est moi), will likely identify with this type. In some people (though not me), this perfectionist personality manifests as the “romantic,” the type of friend who falls in love on the first date and is yawning through date three. This is your friend who gets drunk and plans to start three businesses and goes so far as to set an initial “discussion meeting,” with you, then never follows through.

Intense perfectionists: Intense perfectionists hold incredibly high standards for themselves and others. They expect people to care about the things they care about, as much as they care about them, at the same times they care about them. They obsess over outcomes, which can be an advantage - when they want to get something done, their focus is razor-sharp, and they’re amazingly efficient. When their intense perfectionism goes unchecked, though, it can be at the expense of other people - they’re so focused on the task at hand, they can lose sight of the importance of empathizing with those also involved in the process (they will keep track of how long it takes you to answer an email. and then they will email you to tell you you took too long. and then they will text you to tell you to check your email. all within the span of 5 minutes). Schafler lists Steve Jobs, Anna Wintour, and Gordon Ramsay as the public figures who display this type. I’d add Michael Jordan to this list, who, when asked why he shouts at his teammates in practice, (very) passionately stated: “I’ve never asked someone to do something that I can’t or won’t do.” The issue is: he doesn’t stop to think about whether said teammates want to do or can do what he’s doing.

Parisian perfectionists: Parisian perfectionists channel their perfectionist energies into interpersonal relationships. The Parisian perfectionist’s ideal, Schafler states, is “connection.” They want to be “perfectly liked, want to perfectly like others, and want to be understood.” They want to be everyone’s favorite, and get accolades for it. When left unchecked, this translates into “toxic people-pleasing,” wherein a Parisian perfectionist will abandon themselves for the sake of being liked by others.

Procrastinor perfectionists: This is Schafler’s type, for inquiring minds. Procrastinor perfectionists struggle to start things because “they want the conditions to be perfect” before they do. When this type is left unmanaged, they can spend so much time preparing and attempting to create perfect conditions that they fail to start anything.

So, there you have it! It’s highly likely that you identify with at least one of these types. Now that you’ve taken in the cons of your type, know that Schafler offers advice throughout the book on how to take your perfectionist tendencies and use them to your advantage.

In fact, Schafler disagrees with the current trend in psychology of painting perfectionism as something to be “cured.” First of all, you won’t be cured of it - it’s who you are. Second of all, Schafler argues, it’s a superpower. To be a perfectionist - in whatever form - is to be ambitious. It’s simply about whether you’re an “adaptive” perfectionist, or someone who takes advantage of the traits that you were born with, or a “maladptive” perfectionist - someone who leans a bit too hard into the negative side. I will admit, part of me bought this book simply because I’m nosy and wanted to understand my “perfectionist type,” if I had one - but I ended up uncovering some valuable information about myself and my working styles. Whether you’re intrigued or simply nosy, thumbing through this book may give you the tools you didn’t even know you needed.